i wanna fly like i've never flown before,

Friday, February 13, 2009

I've just discovered this new facility here on facebook, the NOTE section, and am high influenced by a friend who is merely 20 years of age, whose insights and adage inspires me to dive myself into the cankering sound of rushing black keyboards, forming aphorisms I'd like to call my own.

decided to use it while waiting for my documents to be scanned and printed, scanned and printed, scanned and print (x 12337384623-5940 times)

In just one day, the preparation for university has slowly endowed me with these various qualities: Patience, meticulous, tech-savvy cosmopolitan IT girl. This is what i've been doing for the past 1 hour (and still counting towards the end of the day)-> Sieve material, scan, save, print, walk towards printer, open cartridge, place forms in order, pack them properly, return original documents. repeat the entire process over again till end..... i finally understand how factory workers feel.

I must have already used up the whole stack of HP everyday paper, 500 sheets (Swore for top quality), printing the 3 stacks of application materials, referral letters, awards, results, testimonials. Small price to pay to "lay out a bright path for thy own future" Sometimes i wonder "What am i complaining about?"

Anyway i've been procrastinating for far too long, always busy with tuition, work, dance, competitions, performance, 21st birthdays and what not. EUNICE CHEW! SNAP OUT OF IT!

So much effort put in with just a mustard seed grain of hope that one would get accepted for the as promised prestigious placement in the local university, bearing the dream of prestigious degree, prestigious job, title and due recognition in the years to come..... typical Singaporean dream "As quoted, Singapore Dreaming"

"people want to see what you're worth!" my mother says. So, everything is like a package? The world encompasses such fraudulence. Don't get me wrong, not being negative here. Merely stating the fact.

Yes, we humans look and favor "beauty", regardless of it's relativity. I guess that's how we were created, born and designed to seek out beauty.

Say, you make a friend. First thing that your senses pick up, is aesthetic chemistry. I'm not saying the person has to look exactly like Brad Pitt or have the appeal of Gwyneth Paltrow. We would be more apt to accept and be receptive to the person's advances as long as that person is presentable. Everyone, and i mean EVERYONE is guilty as charged of this demeanor. Nothing wrong about it hahah because we were born that way. We act that way even before our minds connect and sends a signal to our subconscious self that "Hey! you're being shallow here"

Say, you go to an interview or want to be chosen for a role in an action movie. Directors and cast managers are all about the looks. It takes only 5 secs for someone to form a first impression of you, and it lasts forever. (The rest is history) One is more likely to employ someone with clean cool cut, but not so impressive resume, than someone who has an IQ of 300 but comes in scrawny, disheveled, and wears no pants.

Humans are superficial:)

Everything is just a package. It comes and goes and passes like the wind. Why hanker?

Alright, i was rudely interrupted by 1) My mother's nagging and messing up my applications, 2)the empty printer ink, haix... why so much hindrance!! I just want to complete something this very moment and now i have to wait....

You know what they say, "If it's yours it'll naturally come to you"

My friend just shared her good news that she has just been offered a sponsorship. She's one of those kinds whom i realized, is always in favor of God's blessings. Good things come to her, just as bees are attracted to honey. Probably because she lives for God's words as well, always so sweet, nice, obliging. There was a period when we were classmates in school, i was often worried for her interpersonal skills with the rest in class. Her guileless and innocence stole hated stares and gossips about the way she did her presentations. I never told her about it for fear of hurting her feelings. I only pulled her away from those vipers vindictive snaps and took it upon myself to defend her in speech.

Why must people be so bad to each other? Although i am sometimes guilty of falling into an abyss of confrontations, i often feel terrible about it after that and make sure i end it well.

I hate to see conspicuous discrimination and do nothing about it. I still remember the awkwardness whilst entering class with a hateful mindset that everyone is bad and against such a kind doe deer. Sometimes i think i ponder too much and take upon unnecessary burdens, making myself so miserable. I finally realized she had the magnanimity to sieve out the unedifying comments and only "listen to the good things". I used to have such strong feelings of sympathy for her, being subjected to so much humiliation in class when all i could do to protect her is spit back the poison. Then i realized she was much stronger than myself. Stronger than anyone who judged her. I realized they were gossiping to cover up their own insecurities.

That's why god has his way of loving and providing for her. Be it relationships, studies, career. I can see he has a good plan, to guide and protect her. I'm comforted.

Y2:51:00 PM

Saturday, October 25, 2008

This post is specially dedicated to Miss Liana Lim, my dearest FYP Team Mates, Cat and Cheryl dearies and especially my parents!

Haha this year's birthday's much too different from the past years, many pre-mature surprises, belated surprises and eventful actual day itself. This post is really belated as well! Up to my throat with FYP, school, projects, dance (and especially dance) and what nots:)

I'm so happy that my parents and church dearies gave me a special birthday surprise this year! before my birthday that i was so busy with mid point to do anything else! Yes, Final Year Project midpoint presentation on my birthday itself. Rather hectic. My parents and friends decided to celebrate for me before it all haha....

Best of all that commotion and hullabaloo, i didn't even suspect anything! Imagine, clad in pajamas, lying on my couch in the living room without a bra and watching TV awaiting dinner when everyone budged in! It was a lovely surprise and very thoughtful of them anyway :):) I LOVE YOU ALL!!

A day before my birthday, FYP team had to go source for installation materials all around beach road, Arab street and party shops! In the midst of playing, getting scratched by Lisa's finger nails, obtaining a new nick name NINI!! my fyp team mates actually found time to plan a surprise for me as well! I"M SO TOUCHED! i was an hour late for my midpoint meeting on the 15th and thank god they bought the cake without cream ahha! thank you my dears so much for the surprise, the VERY CREATIVE POEM, the planner and all your love! I LOVE YOU!

Thank you miss Florina for your special "GOAT" clip and note too:) AWWW:):)

My dearie St nicks cloud 9 gals Stella and Manda babes also gave me a surprise:) Thank you dearies for the Swensons treat and the birthday ice cream and the card that i was soooo blur throughout it all!

My heart goes out to Stella especially, despite her mother's hospitalization on that day itself, she still came to surprise me... My condolences for your lost. I really teared for you and your family, and i just want you to know that you have my and all our cloud 9 friend's support. I love you dear! :)

Then just yesterday, my classmates gave me a surprise card. Mastermind and creative director of it all was Miss Liana Lim hehe and her ingenious recycled birthday card tradition for all her friends! She was so sweet to ask everyone to sign and even burnt a poem twice before she got the burn edges right! Awwwwww i'm so touched! heheh

I honestly expected a quiet birthday with just myself and family having a meal together somehow in the midst of a busy FYP life, but you guys just add so much color into my life. Special thanks to all of you who msged, MSNed, facebooked and friendstered birthday greetings heh, Thank you for remembering! I thank god so much for all of this, i truly do appreciate all your efforts and am touched to the core by all your cares and concerns! It's because god's blessings that i have you guys with me that makes life worthwhile and so bearable!

*And you:) thank you for being the first to call me at 12midnight on the 15th haha, i really appreciate your "under the tree" phone calls heheh

FYP fund raising which thanks all my FYP team mates, was a great great great success! Thank God for the providence of 49 cars, lots of cash donations and abi's dad's sponsorship of materials and methods. Another special mention to Miss Liana Lim who so specially helped out, she specially got her hands and shirt and jeans dirty and her wholeself tired out helping us wash the cars! I'm so touched!!! AWWWW (i don't know how many times i'm going to say this man) ahaah Liana, one day you're going to get yourself a damn good husband to take care and love you like you love all your friends:):) i'm going to make sure you find that guy... and especially he must be able to support you and your rice and Chi Ko Pak habits all your life!!! wahahahah!

Arghhh that's the problem with not posting on time, too much details, too little patience to blog about it anymore hehe.... my fingers stop here for now as i drift off to a land of blue skies, windmills, rainbows and a svelte physique

Y10:43:00 PM

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

so what's up during the holidays? heh....BJs!!

BJS!!!

And More BJS!!

Did Tian Chang Di Jiu Concert...took Zhao Yong Hua

Press conference. We stayed at Intercontinental Hotel...the bed....was great!

Oh look! Pan Mei Chen and Sky Wu....

Miss Maisy and I.. Thank God for her company...:):)

Goofing around against the wallpaper we like so much!

Zhao and Bei-Ren-Da!! :):) So cute and funny!

The Power of Make up!

Suntec convention Halls 602-603

Have to entertain our guest while waiting for the Artist party....

The Manager, the artist, & the Make up artist...

I kinda had fun and gained a whole load of exposure to what goes behind the scenes for a major concert production...most of the crew were from esplanade....i was glad to be given the opportunity...and earn the extra moolahs:):)... things went pretty well besides the flight luggauge delay on the first day....I gave my very first Mustafa experience to this bunch of foreigners when they arrived because they had to gather their necessities like make up and brushes..... Seemed like a local foreigner with the foreigners in a foreign mustafa land....

Had to be at the venue from afternoon till night though and return home at 12 midnight on the dot....in the midst we met interesting people, bunk in the artist's room and learnt who's straight and who's gay in the chinese entertainment biz :P (bonus material)..... One thing i loved loved loved about this job...is the wonderful sheets in the hotel! OMG how do i even describe the bed..... you expect to just lie in it....instead you sink into its fabric and float to dreamland without even realising it.... I have decided to invest in a great bed! Fluffy pillows and a thick comforter.... any recommendations for brands?! :)

Nowadays FYP, school, dance and tuition are the most of what my life is made up off.... gosh.... need a breather....i have no time for anything else!! but busy is good haha....i hope things run smoothly from now on:):)

Y5:02:00 PM

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

missing pictures i've yet to upload during the holidays!

Baybeats!!

Trip to JB, reliving the 3 numbnuts!!

Min min looks like a korean ACTOR! SO handsome!

Liquid kitchen...i like:))

FYP! Painting recycled bags

Eileen's farewell Party!

Film shot trial for Food Tasting!

They damn hilarious! See the guy on the RIGHT, he took all my photos! Good angles!

I didn't know you could do such things with a hoodie!!

Saturday morning at YMCA for a good cause..i like!

On a joy ride around singapore to xavier's birthday!

sent clara off to korea yesterday....will miss her!

One morning when i woke up, i received a really sweet message:

" Everytime i close my eyes, i see your sweet smile,

Every night i put on my ear piece, i hear your endearing laughter

You're like spring water that mourishes

And sunlight that give life

I'll be happy if you're as well..."

Thank you for making my day:)

Sometimes in life you just need the simple things to keep you alive and moving along throughout the stressful pressures of school and expectations of society. A simple get together with friends during the weekend, laughing and catching up what we all missed throughout days of their university livea or my FYP weekends, these that i never had time or thought was important to do when i was caught up with a relationship doomed to failure from the start.......silly me.... when i think about it now, all i can do is laugh.....

there are so much more important things waiting for me out there i thought were no longer existent.... sometimes it waits for you to fill up your heart and soul, we just never noticed...or cared...

But these things makes you grow, you know, great blows knock you hard to make you stop and reflect, whether you've been bad or good, why things ended this way, how we can improve.... sometimes i hate the heartache but i never regret the lesson, without which i wouldn't have been who i am today..... I thank God for the fruitful experiences, especially the strength he gives me to pull through the difficulties i put myself through.... silly me......

I'm thankful for the night calls sometimes, you make me laugh, especially the multi-tasking PSP and i'm amazed at how you always manage to sound like you're hosting a sports program even over the phone haha...keep up the good work!! thank you for all the concern:)

So there are friends around, to keep you going....Friends are a gift from god that i hope to keep for a long time, if not forever......I pray that all of us have sticky hands, so we'll hold on together....

Y5:37:00 PM